The Real Republican Dictionary

“You already know right-wingers are mean. Now find out what they mean.”—Ted Rall

“When I have to figure if what I mean is what I say, I consult The Real Republican Dictionary.”—George W. Bush

We live in duplicitious times, and nothing is more duplicitous than the rhetoric of the Republican Party. Simply put, what Republicans say is not what they mean, and you need a dictionary to comprehend what they mean. Thus was created The Real Republican Dictionary, a work that offers understanding and clarity of “Republican English.”

Featuring almost two hundred definitions, numerous illustrations, as well as a revised Bill of Rights, altered to more accurately reflect the current political climate, it is our hope that this dictionary will establish an alternate reality to Republican rhetoric, a reality that those in the reality-based community like to call “the truth.”

Some examples:
Activist Judges–Judges who refuse to adhere to a strict interpretation of the Ten Commandments.
Axis of Evil–Liberals, Homosexuals and the French.
GOP–God’s Only Party.
Iran–Next.
NPR–Not Pro Republican.
Peace–The short interval between wars

Robert Lasner is the author of the underground classic For Fucks Sake. This is his first dictionary.